From the NY Times: ”
Being a submissive or dutiful patient doesn’t always pay off. Who exactly was I being good for? Sometimes it’s good to be bad.
Was I good for nothing? When I was at my most puling and unappealing and too sick to be good, with pain so overwhelming that I had to be taken to my oncologist’s examining room in a wheelchair, she placed her hand on my knee and kept it there while explaining how she would take care of me. Though I could not look her in the eye, though I could not speak for groaning, I took her point. I had foisted the good patient role on myself. She had always seen through the pose to the mortally sick human being. Why else would I be here, I realized.” More.